This week has seen a flurry of clips shared online, apparently “exposing” two people having an affair at a recent Coldplay concert.

The co-workers were attending a Coldplay concert in Boston and were selected on the “kiss cam”. This is meant to show people enjoying the concert but in this particular case, it had a very different result.

These clips and follow-up statements have sparked lots of speculation about something that no doubt all of the people involved would have liked to keep private.

The blurring line between private and public life

The Coldplay concert footage highlights that private behaviour can suddenly become public. Whether or not this is what the video was showing, the implications are real for couples and families who find themselves in this situation. This reminds us all to remain alert to the fact that relationships and many other aspects of our lives, whether that be online activity or financial behaviour, are never fully private.

We increasingly see private relationships playing out in the public eye – on social media, in group chats, or through viral content. This kind of exposure often accelerates the breakdown of a relationship and adds further emotional distress, which can make decision-making, when it comes to resolving matters, even harder whilst emotions are running high.

Importantly, if and when family court proceedings start, it is vital to remember that these proceedings must remain confidential. Broadcasting messages and details on social media may undermine your position at a later stage and only serve to escalate matters in the long run. It can also find you held in contempt of court if you break the rules around the confidentiality of your own or someone else’s information and documents.

Why you should take early legal advice

No matter the circumstances of a separation, and whether there’s been an affair or not, seeking legal advice early is a very important step to take.

• It helps protect your rights and interests – whether you’re married or in a cohabiting relationship, early advice helps you understand where you stand legally. You may decide not to pursue matters further but at least you will be more alert to the situation you find yourself in. Some people do not realise their legal rights even exist until it is too late.
• It can help you safeguard your financial position. You may be, for example, advised to look at how joint-name accounts are operated or to take steps to prevent the disposal of assets that could later impact on the financial settlement.
• It can help you to ensure that any arrangements for any children involved are child-focused. This can help reduce conflict in the future for everyone concerned.
• Avoid costly mistakes: People often act out of emotion, say too much online, or sign agreements without full understanding. Legal advice can help avoid actions that could prove unhelpful to you.

Is the affair relevant?

We are not here to speculate. However, if the families involved decide a divorce or dissolution is what they want or need, the affair itself is unlikely to be relevant. Although a very difficult time for all involved, since 6 April 2022, adultery is no longer a ground for divorce. If you are applying for a divorce or dissolution, you will simply need to say that there has been an “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage/civil partnership” and not explain more to the court.

It can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that an affair will not be considered in the divorce or dissolution, but it can assist in dealing with matters in a more straightforward way.

You may think an affair can instead be dealt with when dealing with resolving the finances. The Court does consider various factors when deciding on how the finances should be dealt with, which can include relevant financial conduct and whether there are new partners whose financial circumstances should also be considered.

Do note though, that financial conduct needs to be very severe and directly related to the financial situation. An affair is, therefore, unlikely to sway a settlement in one person’s favour just because it happened. Please see our article “Does conduct have a place within divorce cases?”

If you are considering separation or simply need to understand your options, please do not hesitate to get in touch with a member of Geldards’ Family Team, who would be more than happy to help.