Good Divorce Week: The cost of a bad divorce

Good Divorce Week is a reminder that while divorce is never easy, it does not have to be destructive. However, many people find themselves facing significant emotional and financial hardship whilst going through a divorce, much of which can often be avoided.

But what can actually make a divorce “bad”?

1. Conflict that becomes the driving force

A divorce can be negatively impacted when conflict becomes the focus rather than resolution. This can happen when:

• The focus is on “winning” rather than prioritising a fair outcome
• There is a breakdown of communication
• Parties become focussed on the small battles and lose sight of the “bigger picture” and long-term financial security
• Decisions are driven by emotion rather than legal advice

High conflict rarely results in better outcomes. Instead, it prolongs proceedings, increases costs, and damages family relationships sometimes beyond repair.

2. Lack of Information

Challenges can arise in a divorce where parties do not fully understand their rights, responsibilities and options. People can often receive misinformation through social media or unqualified advice, or they may hear the stories of friends or family who have been through a divorce and then feel intimidated or overwhelmed about the road ahead.

This is why it is important to ensure that legal advice is sought at an early stage from a qualified family law solicitor. Receiving proper legal advice can help to dispel any misinformation, as well as helping people to feel more in control by being fully informed as to their options.

3. An unclear financial picture

A divorce can be made more difficult when the financial picture is unclear or there is a lack of transparency. Problems can arise when:

• Assets are hidden or withheld
• Financial disclosure is delayed
• Not enough consideration is given to the long-term implications of a financial agreement

This not only risks causing conflict but can lead to unbalanced or unfair settlements that have long term impacts.

4. Involving children in adult disputes

Acrimony between divorcing couples can often be made worse by involving children in adult disputes. It is also not fair on children for them to be caught in the middle of their parents’ divorce.

Any situation that involves passing messages through children, discouraging the child’s relationship with the other parent, using contact as leverage or making children feel they must “pick sides” could cause long-lasting emotional harm for children. This will also very likely increase tension and animosity between parents.

5. Failure to properly consider non court dispute resolution methods

Whilst court proceedings should be seen as a last resort, it can often be a necessary way of reaching a resolution where alternative routes have been unsuccessful. Court proceedings can be time consuming, stressful and costly, and sadly the process often results in increased animosity between divorcing couples. This could potentially be avoided by considering non court dispute resolution (“NCDR”) options such as:

• Mediation
• Collaborative law
• Arbitration
• Early neutral evaluation

The family court require NCDR to be considered prior to making a court application, and penalties can be imposed by the court for failure to engage in NCDR. The court also expects parties in financial remedy proceedings to remain open to considering NCDR throughout the court process.

It is important to remember that a “Good Divorce” is possible

Good Divorce Week is a great reminder to us that a better path is always available. A good divorce does not mean a perfect divorce, and whilst there will inevitably be some form of grief, loss and change to deal with, the process can still be guided by respect, clarity and fairness.

All solicitors in the team at Geldards are members of Resolution, and are committed to dealing with matters in a constructive and non-confrontational way. For further information, the Resolution website can be accessed here.

If you would like to have a confidential conversation with one of the specialist family law solicitors at Geldards in relation to divorce and/or financial arrangements, please do not hesitate to contact us.