Christmas and holiday arrangements for children – a guide for parents or carers

School and religious/special holidays can often be a tricky discussion point between separated parents, especially holidays that may be considered more sentimental, such as Christmas, Eid and Hanukkah, to name just a few. With Mariah Carey defrosting for Christmas 2025 as we speak, you might have started to wonder how to make Christmas (or other holiday) arrangements to ensure your children have the magical time they deserve, without squabbling parents. My colleague Caitlin Heath has put together a guide to help separated parents over the festive season.

When it comes to who has care of a child and when it can be difficult to know where you stand sometimes, and with the normal stresses and pressure of holiday seasons, it can feel like a bit of a minefield.

The starting point in understanding your parental (or carer’s) choices in relation to holidays is to look at parental responsibility. When both parents have parental responsibility (most do, but if you aren’t sure about this, please take legal advice), they both generally have the same decision-making rights and equal say in what happens in relation to holidays.

The particular sticking point may be how to organise the ‘special days’ of Christmas, or other festivals break. There is no set formula for this, and it will very much be down to the family to decide what works best. Using Christmas as an example, it may be that one parent may see the children for Christmas Eve, the other sees the child/ren for Christmas Day. Alternatively, it may be Christmas Eve, and Christmas morning is spent with one parent and then Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day are spent with the other as a second Christmas Day. Arrangements may alternate year on year or stay the same for consistency.

In terms of the rest of the holiday periods, some parents may opt to carry on with term-time arrangements save for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and New Year’s Eve/Day. Other parents may decide to switch up the routine, so the children spend more overnights with the non-resident parent.

People very often feel that Christmas (or other religions’ main festivals) is the most important day of the festive season but for some the solution can be spreading the celebration across a few days to then enable the children to see any extended family, enjoy the festivities for a bit longer and what child will grumble at two days of presents being opened instead of one!

It is important to remember that there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach that will work for every family. Work commitments, family holidays, religious observations and how well a child deals with transitioning from one house to the other will always play a crucial part in deciding how to split the holidays.

When discussing these arrangements, it is key that communication remains calm, clear, and child-focused. Having arrangements agreed early on can avoid any tension and/or anxiety leading up to the holiday event for both the children and the parents, and it allows everyone to plan accordingly.

If you aren’t able to discuss things directly, there are a lot of non-court dispute resolution options to support. For example, mediation may assist you to listen to each other’s views in a neutral setting with an unbiased third party to support a productive conversation and assist with resolving any tricky points.

If you are struggling to decide what the arrangements should be between you and none of the many non-court options to resolve your differences have worked, the court may be able to assist. The court’s primary concern is to consider the child’s best interests, and they start with the view that a child benefits from a good relationship with both parents. The court will consider a range of factors, including the wishes and feelings of the child(ren) involved as well as the likely effect of any changes.

Please also remember that the courts can be very busy and it may take some time for your application to be processed and listed. If you anticipate needing the court’s help it is best to seek legal advice as soon as possible to ensure the court application can be heard in time.

If the only point of disagreement between the parents/carers is around holiday division, it may well be time and cost-effective to make use of non-court dispute resolution options over the court system to ensure you have a decision before the big day.

If you would like further advice, please contact Kate Keenan or Belinda Moseley at Geldards’ Family Team, who would be glad to assist you.