It takes a village...
It might take a village to raise a child, as the old saying goes, but when it comes to a relationship breakdown, sometimes you need a village for that too.
When a marriage or civil partnership or cohabiting relationship ends, the first step for a lot of people might be to speak to a solicitor. But who else might be involved?
Here’s a handy guide for a variety of independent professionals you might encounter, in their own words, with my thanks to the contributors in each category who have kindly explained what their role might look like for a client:
Solicitor (or legal executive)
Your solicitor will be able to advise you about the legal steps you may be able to take to bring the relationship to an end. Their advice will also include ideas about practical solutions and progression of your matter. They will help you draft up correspondence to your ex or their solicitor and prepare any necessary paperwork.
Most family law specialist solicitors will encourage resolution of differences by agreement if possible, this may include supporting you to engage in mediation, collaborative law, arbitration or any one of a variety of non-court dispute resolution methods.
Should things need to proceed to a more formal setting, such as an arbitration or court, your solicitor can also advise and represent you within these processes, although it’s not unusual if you also instruct a barrister to help you too.
Solicitors and barristers often work alongside one another for a client, each bringing similar and differing skill sets into the mix to seek the best possible outcome for a client and their family.
For advice tailored to you, please contact me : Belinda.moseley@geldards.com or ring me on 02920 391746
Barrister (also known as Counsel)
So where can a Barrister help? Natalie Sandercock from 9 Park Place Chambers, Cardiff, a specialist in financial remedy proceedings, explains it all…
“I suppose most people have the idea that barristers are middle-aged upper class white men with powdered wigs, who you see berating witnesses in television dramas, but actually there is a huge spectrum of family barristers, who are specialists in resolving your family law dispute, and who aim ideally to achieve a settlement without you ever having to go to Court.
I am part of a team at 9 Park Place (Cardiff) which deals with every kind of family law issue, and most of us deal principally either with the law relating to children, or the law concerning family finances, or both. We work mainly as a referral profession, so your solicitor will decide when it is appropriate to bring one of us in for our expertise, advice and representation.
Family barristers specialise in giving an objective external overview of a case, and bringing our own knowledge and experience of cases decided in the Family Courts to help resolve a client’s particular dispute. My own particular area of practice is finance on divorce and I tend to deal with the higher value end of the market. Often the cases finance barristers deal with have tricky issues in them, like what should happen to a family business or a farm, or perhaps the parties have issues with pensions, tax problems, overseas assets, trusts and inheritance, or the very commonly encountered situation where one party’s parents have invested money in a property that’s been used as a family home prior to the relationship breakdown. Or maybe they want to try to safeguard substantial pre-owned assets by getting a pre-nuptial agreement before they marry in the first place.
Sometimes a client’s solicitor will decide that it’s good to get a barrister on board for advice right at the start of a case, to identify the tricky issues, what evidence might be relevant, and to get advice from the barrister about how a Court would be likely to approach the dispute. We help guide your expectations of what a fair outcome to your case might look like. Then you can start to talk tactics and work out how best to resolve the case, identify any relevant disclosure of evidence you might need, or whether to get expert input from a surveyor or forensic accountant. Most importantly, your barrister will advise you on making offers of settlement to the other party or whether your ex-partner’s settlement proposals are fair and reasonable; with a view to avoiding the costs of going to Court.
Even if sadly, you do find yourself in Court, and sometimes there is no option but to do so, then that’s really the area where a family barrister spends most of their time, representing their client, preparing written and verbal submissions to the Court about the parties’ dispute and engaging in Court-led mediation hearings, such as financial dispute resolution (FDR) hearings in family finance cases. Here your barrister will set out your case to the Court, both in advance in writing and verbally at the hearing; they’ll explain your settlement proposals and why they are fair, taking into account the law and how it applies to your particular circumstances. The parties then receive an indication from the Family Judge as to what they would be likely to order in your case, and why, and we use that indication as a firm guide to negotiate and resolve the case. We then get allowed time at Court (both parties can go to their separate break out rooms) for your barrister to discuss matters with you and engage in shuttle negotiation with the other party or their representative/barrister. Negotiations can get pretty tough, but our job is to be there for you and support you to reach an agreement. Contrary to popular belief, what the barrister is aiming for is not to slog it out in Court at high cost and high risk at a final hearing before another Judge months later, but to get a fair and well-negotiated settlement for a client as early as possible, as that is, above all, our own measure of success. The FDR process in financial remedy cases is statistically very successful, and the vast majority of cases resolve at this stage.
If, however, despite all of your legal team’s efforts to resolve the case, you do end up at a final hearing (and only a tiny fraction of family cases do), then it’s the barrister’s job to forensically examine the issues and evidence in the case, and to put your case forward as skilfully and persuasively as possible, and challenge the other party’s evidence in cross-examination where it may be necessary to examine welfare issues (in a children case) or to scrutinize financial dealings or even uncover hidden assets or earnings (in financial remedy). Above all in finance cases, the whole process is focussed on getting our client a fair outcome. In children law cases, it’s about getting the right outcome for your child or children which best meets their welfare.”
But, family law isn’t just about the lawyers. You may also come into contact with a number of other professionals advising and assisting you and your ex such as:
Mediator
Family mediation is an opportunity for people to have a conversation and to make decisions about their own family and futures with the support of an impartial mediator who helps move the discussions along and provides information but who does not take the control over your future away from the people participating in the mediation or advise you.
Mediation can be a really helpful tool in a family breakdown because it is neutral, voluntary and confidential so it means you can try out ideas and plans to see if they work for you and your family. Sometimes, the kids can even have their say too, if it’s appropriate. Your mediator will support you to move forwards with discussions but the decisions remain in your and your ex’s hands.
For help with mediation, please contact the Geldards Family team on: family@geldards.com
Arbitrator
An arbitrator does a similar job to a judge but makes an “award” instead of an “order”. The big advantages of arbitration include not having to wait months and months for a court hearing, being able to choose who is the arbitrator, when and where it takes place. You and your ex have to agree to use arbitration but there is a great deal of financial and emotional value to an early resolution of a family breakdown’s arrangements in lots of cases.
Arbitrators are experienced lawyers and part-time/retired judges so you will have the benefit of their experience and their undivided attention for your case.
Geldards’ very own Fiona Apthorpe is able to offer her assistance as an experienced arbitrator. Please contact us on family@geldards.com in the first instance.
Private “judge” & early neutral evaluators
There are some court hearings which involve negotiations and input from a judge but don’t lead to a Court order unless there’s agreement. These are dispute resolution hearings. If you don’t want to wait several months to have that sort of input into your case, you can agree to jointly instruct a “private” judge instead. As with an arbitrator, that gives you both control over who, when and where the hearing takes place. It can be extremely helpful to have an opportunity to have those negotiations and input from a private judge when it comes to settling cases and not waiting ages for a Court diary slot.
Similarly, with early neutral evaluation, you can ask an experienced lawyer to review the papers and give their views on a likely outcome.
Both of these processes are really handy in lots of cases as it helps people who are a long way part in their views to move a little closer and often settle with that neutral input. It also allows you to stay in control of your futures as opposed to a judge making a determination whether you like the result or not.
Geldards’ very own Fiona Apthorpe is able to offer her assistance as an experienced judge and evaluator. Please contact us on family@geldards.com in the first instance.
Pensions on Divorce Expert
A divorcing couple’s pensions may be the most valuable assets that they possess but all too often they can be overlooked during divorce proceedings. Your lawyer may well advise you to seek expert advice from a pension on divorce expert to help work out what can be done with pension funds.
We invited one firm, Southdown Consultants, to explain what they do within the context of a divorce:
“Pensions can be very complex. A Pensions on Divorce Expert (PODE) acting as a Single Joint Expert is required to have high levels of technical knowledge, experience and have good communication skills in order to convey complex information.
Examples of matters that a PODE may be asked to report upon are:
- How should pensions be shared in order that both parties receive the same income in retirement ?
- How might we allow for the fact that one party has predominantly defined benefit pensions while the other has primarily defined contribution pensions ?
- How should the fact that various pensions may be taken at different ages and receive different rates of increase in payment be accounted for ?
- Is it appropriate for all of the pensions to be considered in isolation from other assets, or taken into account with a distribution of other (non-pension) assets?
- Is it appropriate for all of the parties’ pensions to be considered, or should this just be limited to those built up during the relationship ?
- What is the “fair value” of these various pensions under consideration?
A PODE Report prepared by Southdown Consultants aims to deliver answers and outcomes in a simple and clear manner to help all parties come to an agreement and make informed decisions about pensions held.”
Chartered Financial Planner
A chartered financial planner can help with many aspects of divorce proceedings, we asked Charlene Coulbeck APFS from Nugenis about her role and how she helps during relationship breakdowns:
“A relationship breakdown is not only a difficult time emotionally, but financially too. Finances may have been held jointly, bills paid together, investments held in a variety of places – and it can be a mental minefield to know how best to manage your money post separation or divorce.
A financial adviser can guide you through the financial decisions that need to be made to ensure your assets are held in the right way for you going forward in the next chapter of your life, and can also offer expert advice on division of assets and how different divorce settlement options could affect you both now and long term. Pension or investment funds can sometimes be awarded as part of a settlement, and an adviser can also help you find a home for those funds, to help you understand your entitlements and provide you with security and peace of mind for your own future. “
If you would like to speak to a Chartered Financial Planner, contact Charlene Coulbeck APFS on c.coulbeck@nugenisfp.co.uk or call on 07377891583
Wealth Manager
A financial adviser plays a crucial role in helping individuals navigate the financial complexities that arise during and after a relationship breakdown. Whether it’s ensuring a fair division of assets, setting up new financial arrangements, or helping you plan for your future, their guidance is invaluable. Gweirydd ap Gwyndaf is one such adviser and explains for us what role he can play to help a client or clients:
“Divorce or separation often has significant financial implications, especially when it comes to shared assets like property, pensions, and investments. A financial adviser can assist in assessing the current financial situation, explaining the long-term consequences of different settlement options, and helping you make informed decisions about your financial future.
They may also work closely with other professionals such as solicitors or pension specialists to ensure that all financial aspects of the divorce are considered and appropriately managed. Whether you need help creating a new budget, setting up a financial plan for the future, or even exploring financial independence for the first time, a financial adviser will provide the expertise and clarity you need.”
For tailored financial advice on your divorce journey, please contact Gweirydd ap Gwyndaf at gweirydd@macsenwealth.com.
Accountant and/or tax advisor
Another aspect of the divorce may be around taxation, so we asked an accountant, Fleur Riggs, if she would explain a little more:
“Your Accountant will be able to advise you about the potential Capital gains issues around disposing of your share in any property you own and what steps to take to avoid triggering any unnecessary charges.
You may have business interests together which may need valuing or potentially even separating in a tax efficient manner. Your Accountant can help you with this.
Your Accountant can assist you in preparing any relevant returns to HMRC.”
For advice tailored to you, please contact Fleur Riggs of Advantage Accountancy & Advisory Ltd on email fleur.riggs@adv-accountancy.co.uk or ring on 02922 331169
Mortgage adviser
One of the bigger questions in a divorce is often who can borrow what when it comes to mortgages. Advice and support from a mortgage adviser can be crucial so we invited Lisa Russell of Pure Wealth Management to tell us a bit more:
“An FCA regulated independent mortgage adviser is an essential expert to evaluate how your marital assets should be split. They will produce a Mortgage Capacity Report, which will determine how much you could borrow following the separation.
The adviser will conduct mortgage affordability assessments with a whole-of-market range of regulated lenders, whilst considering your estimated future outgoings and any credit rating issues. Multiple scenarios can be looked at, such as if all debts were repaid or if background properties sold. This then helps a judge to conclude a fair and realistic outcome of splitting of the financial assets, including whether the family home will need to be sold or if one party could buy the other out.
Once you have settled your finances, your mortgage adviser will also be there to assist you in securing a new home or buying out your partner from the family home. Having an independent mortgage adviser will mean that they can search the whole of market and find the most competitive and suitable solution for you. They will support you through the whole process to ensure it runs as smoothly as possible, liaising with various parties, helping you move on towards a new chapter in your life.
A key part of providing mortgage advice will also be making sure you and your dependents are financially protected against sickness or death so you can afford to maintain your new lifestyle, whether that would be with a mortgage or not. Following the separation, often you will be solely responsible for paying your household bills. You may be the main provider for your children or want to ensure any child support or maintenance payments from your ex-partner are maintained if they become ill or were to pass away.
Maintenance payments can be large and long-term. Protecting these payments if the person paying them is no longer able to work due to sickness or passes away is often an area that is overlooked. Without these payments it would mean financial ruin for many people and their children. Any existing policies may be able to be split between you and your ex or you can take out a policy on your ex-partner. This can be part of the divorce settlement. “
For further information on mortgage or insurance advice please contact Lisa Russell at lisa@purewealthmanagement.co.uk or call 07583823788.
Independent social worker & Contact centre worker
When there are difficulties with arrangements for children, sometimes we need help from more than the Court or Cafcass/Cafcass Cymru. With that in mind, Ela Zaccaria of Ymestyn tells us a bit more about what this might mean:
“An Independent Social Worker (ISW) is a qualified social worker who operates independently of local authorities and provides professional assessments, advice, and support in a variety of family and child-related matters. Unlike social workers employed by government or private organisations, ISWs work on a freelance or self-employed basis to support families within Court proceedings where needed.
Where it’s about a difference of opinion about what’s best for a child between their carers (not always just mum and dad), the ISW can assist with assessing parenting/care, offering advice/guidance around parenting/care depending on what is required, supporting visits for the benefit of children and their families and even acting as an advocate for children in some cases.
As they are not connected to a local authority it means you can have confidence that their work is unbiased, making them a trusted source for courts, legal professionals, and families navigating difficult situations. They work with children, parents, and professionals to ensure that the child’s welfare is the top priority and that fair, informed decisions are made.
Ela and her team also offer “contact” services:
A Family Contact Worker helps to ensure the safety, well-being, and positive interaction for children during contact sessions. They are responsible for overseeing these sessions, providing support to families, and acting as a neutral party in often complex or emotionally charged situations.
The role of a Family Contact Worker is essential in ensuring that contact between children and family members happens in a safe, supportive, and positive environment. They balance the needs of the child with the challenges of family dynamics, promoting healthy relationships while ensuring the child’s welfare is the top priority.
Contact centres also offer a variety of other service to support families such as interventions and coparenting plans, resolution and dispute services.
For further information please see our website www.ymestyn.org.uk
Telephone: 07563 207515 or 07873 732854
Email: enquiries@ymestyn.org.uk”
Divorce Coach
Whilst perhaps a newer element of many divorces, the divorce coach can offer a wide range of assistance and advice alongside the traditional legal advice and financial advice. We invited Vanessa White to tell us more:
“An Accredited Divorce Coach is a trained professional who supports individuals through the emotional, practical, and logistical aspects of separation and divorce. Some, like me have additional training and expertise in domestic abuse.
Divorce coaches are results focused and use a variety of proven strategies, insights and tools to help Clients tackle a complex range of issues, challenges and considerations to help them feel empowered, gain the clarity needed and have renewed confidence and focus. With personalised, compassionate care Clients learn to trust their own decisions and show up as their best selves so they can successfully navigate and recover from any kind of breakup or divorce, no matter how complex or how high the level of conflict.
Sometimes having a different perspective is what you need to empower you to take control of your life, health and happiness. There are many ways a divorce coach can be beneficial to you, including:
- Emotional Relief: Reduces emotional overwhelm and provides a safe space to express feelings.
- Informed Decisions: Ensures that decisions are well-considered and based on clear, rational thinking.
- Improved Communication: Enhances the ability to communicate effectively with all parties involved, reducing misunderstandings and conflict.
- Time Efficiency: Helps streamline the divorce process, saving time by being well-prepared for legal meetings.
- Cost-Effective: Can reduce legal costs by minimising the need for Solicitor involvement in non-legal matters.
- Confidence Building: Boosts self-confidence by empowering individuals to navigate their divorce with clarity and purpose.
- Better Outcomes: Leads to more favourable outcomes in child arrangements, financial settlements, and personal well-being.
- Customised Support: Offers personalised support that addresses specific challenges and goals, making the process more manageable.
- Long-Term Success: Lays the foundation for a successful and fulfilling life post-divorce, focusing on long-term well-being, planning for more purpose and passion in your life.
Let’s have a free, no obligation chat about all the ways I can help you in the area of relationships, separation and divorce, including domestic abuse:
Vanessa White, Accredited Relationship & Divorce Coach | coaching@vanessawhite.co.uk | 07772 332570 | https://www.vanessawhite.co.uk/”
So, back to my original comment – it does take a village to sort out a divorce or dissolution of a relationship sometimes and there are a number of experts out there to support you.
It has been an absolute pleasure to liaise with all of the professionals who have very kindly contributed to this article for us and I hope it gives you, the reader, a good flavour of the possibilities for you.
As your lawyers, Geldards’ Family team will always work with you and those other experts towards the best possible outcome for you.