Resolving finances on divorce: How to reach a fair and secure outcome

Following our earlier article on the emotional and practical barriers to divorce, I spoke with Vanessa White, an experienced divorce coach, about the challenges clients face when resolving finances during separation.

For many people, the financial side of divorce can feel like the most overwhelming part of the process. While the legal framework itself follows a clear structure, Vanessa explained that the emotional response to discussing and dividing finances is often far more complex.

A common theme seen by professionals supporting individuals through divorce is fear and uncertainty – fear of the unknown, concerns about whether there will be enough to live on, and anxiety about managing money independently if a partner previously dealt with the finances. For some, this is the first time they have had to fully understand their financial situation, which can feel daunting.

At the same time, there is often pressure to resolve matters quickly.

Divorce can bring a sense of urgency, particularly where individuals want to move on as soon as possible. However, rushing financial decisions without a clear understanding of the long-term implications can sometimes lead to regret later.

How can spouses resolve finances in a divorce?

When a divorcing couple are trying to resolve their finances, there are several routes available.

Some couples are able to discuss matters directly, depending on how amicable the relationship is. Others may attend mediation, where a trained mediator helps guide discussions towards an agreement. Each party can also instruct solicitors to correspond and negotiate, usually alongside the exchange of financial disclosure.

This is an important step which we would usually always recommend to ensure that they are very clear on what assets make up what we call the “matrimonial pot.” People can then enter into negotiations with a clearer idea of what there is to share.

If you cannot make progress through these routes, you may need to start a financial remedy proceedings in Court, although people generally treat this option as a last resort because it costs time and money. A few different Court hearings take place, but the option to settle remains available at any time throughout.

Importantly, this is not a one-size-fits-all process; individuals may move between these options. For example engaging in mediation while also receiving legal advice.

The importance of understanding the full financial picture

A key part of any financial resolution is achieving a “full and frank” financial disclosure. It is very difficult to negotiate a fair settlement without a clear understanding of what assets are available.

This typically involves both parties completing detailed financial statements (Form E), setting out assets such as bank accounts, pensions, as well as income and future needs.

Honesty during this process is critical. Attempting to hide assets or misrepresent financial circumstances can have serious consequences, particularly within court proceedings.

If you think your partner is not being completely transparent, raise this with your solicitors and do not try digging for information yourself.

When financial control becomes part of the problem

In some relationships, issues around financial control may become more apparent during separation. In others, these dynamics may have existed for many years, but people only recognise them at the point of divorce.

Vanessa explained how financial abuse can take on many forms. One partner may have controlled all finances, restricted access to accounts, or withheld information about income and assets. In some cases, others may have discouraged individuals from working, which left them financially dependent and feeling much more exposed at the end of the relationship.

During divorce, these behaviours can continue in different ways. For example through delays, dishonesty in financial disclosure, or refusal to engage constructively in negotiations. This can add significant stress, particularly where one party already feels financially vulnerable.

Vanessa stressed that it is important to help coaching clients recognise and understand that these behaviours may be part of a broader pattern of control. The right range of professional advice really helps individuals maintain healthy boundaries, communication and recovery post-divorce.

Is the financial agreement really final?

We are very pleased when we see clients agreeing on as many matters as they can directly between themselves, rather than engaging in the costly process of negotiations between solicitors.

However, many people do not know that even if you have agreed on how to divide everything, the law usually does not treat that agreement as legally binding. Therefore, if your partner changes their mind, they can still do so.

To provide certainty and security, the parties should formalise any agreement through a consent order and the Court should approve it.

Once approved by the Court, this should then deal with the conclusion of any financial claims you and your partner had against each other and allows you to move on with confidence.

Balancing short-term needs with long-term security

When negotiating financial settlements, it is natural for individuals to focus on immediate concerns such as where they will live, how they will pay bills, and how they will support their children.

However, divorce is not just about resolving today’s financial situation, it is also about creating a stable and sustainable future.

A common example is the emotional attachment to the family home. While remaining in the home can provide stability, particularly for children, taking this approach can sometimes come at the cost of other valuable assets, such as pensions or cash lump sums that may be more beneficial in the long term.

Even though benefiting from a pension can seem like a distant reality depending on how old everyone involved is, it is very important not to focus purely on benefiting now and potentially limiting your prospects in the future. This is often why we also advise clients to seek independent financial advice, alongside legal advice, to look at how best to maximise their financial potential within the realities of a financial settlement.

Looking at the bigger picture, including future income, retirement planning, and financial independence, can help ensure that decisions made now continue to support wellbeing in the years ahead.

It can be really difficult to think ahead when you are still processing the emotional fall out of a relationship breakdown. This is where a supportive team of the right professionals behind you comes into play.

The risks of delaying financial decisions

Many people prioritise children’s arrangements or emotional recovery before addressing finances. However, delaying financial resolution can carry risks.

Until there is a final court order in place, many financial claims remain open. This means that courts can still take assets, income, and pensions into account at a later date, even if circumstances have changed significantly since separation, including one or both people having new children (with another partner) and/or remarrying.

Moving matters forward at the right time can therefore provide greater clarity and protection.

Similarly to Vanessa, we do also find that clients want to get this over and done with and as quickly as possible.

Whilst this is very understandable, it is important to properly consider your options, and ensure you have all the information at hand before making or accepting any proposals. You do not want to sell yourself short, even if accepting less may feel easier emotionally at the time. Equally, it is important not to prolong matters unnecessarily, particularly given the legal costs that may arise.

Practical steps to move forward with confidence

While every situation is different, there are some consistent themes that can help individuals navigate the financial aspects of divorce more effectively:

• Gaining clarity on your financial position as early as possible can reduce uncertainty and support more productive discussions.
• Avoiding decisions driven by fear or urgency allows for better long-term outcomes.
• Building confidence in your financial future can be empowering and support independence after divorce.

A balanced and informed approach

Ultimately, resolving finances on divorce requires both practical and emotional considerations. While there may be a desire to conclude matters quickly, taking the time to fully understand your financial position, explore your options, and consider long-term outcomes is key.

With the right legal, financial and emotional support, individuals are better equipped to approach negotiations from a calm and informed position – helping them to achieve a fair settlement and move forward with confidence.

How can we help?

If you are struggling in your relationship or considering divorce, do please get in touch with the Geldards Family Team, we would be more than happy to help.

Vanessa White can be reached at – coaching@vanessawhite.co.uk or 07772 332570

Vanessa and I will return again with the final article in our series; managing disputes about children following separation and how you can help them to adjust.