Sharing Eid: putting children first during religious holidays
Britain has a population of over 70 million people who all have similar and different cultures, faiths and holiday celebrations.
Within our family law world, there can often be a very detailed gaze upon the holidays and festivals a family wishes to share and celebrate because, sadly, when a relationship has broken down and there are children in the mix (whatever their ages), their parents and carers and wider family all want to spend time enjoying the celebrations with them and it simply isn’t possible for one child to be in two homes at the same time.
So, how does the family law world approach this?
The basics of where a child spends their time is, ideally, one their parents or main carers can sort out by agreement – the aim is always to put the child’s needs and welfare first, but we also strongly encourage considering the child’s own wishes and feelings too, to respect their individuality as well as the adults’ wishes and ideas too.
Where those adults cannot agree, then they can look to a very wide variety of professionals to help them explore options and plans, frequently without any need to involve a judge or the magistrates in the family court at all. Non-Court Dispute Resolution options such as Mediation offers a range of benefits which makes it an attractive option for many couples navigating the end of their marriage.
A last resort might be to ask the family court to assist, but even then, parents/carers are still strongly encouraged to try and find the answers themselves by agreement wherever possible.
It’s extremely common to see “hot topics” like Christmas, Hannukah and Eid and birthdays come up in discussions because these are shared celebrations and because they are at specific times of year, they aren’t the same as dividing school holidays up more generally.
Aysha Chouhdary, Family Partner and Head of Faith & Cultural services in our family team has explored this further in a recent article for Resolution, an organisation committed to the constructive resolution of divorce, separation and family disputes.
But the same principles apply to all families, whatever their cultural and/or religious backgrounds may be – it is to try and find a workable solution for the children involved to give them the best childhood, free of adult disputes, that it is possible to offer and to never make them feel they have to choose “ a side” but rather that they are lucky to have so many people who love them and want them to be happy and well cared for.
It is not always an easy task for parents and carers to share the children’s time, because it is so precious, but it is important to try and do it in such a way that the children, including when they are adults, look back positively about those shared arrangements and those shared memories of celebrations with all of their family members.
If you have any questions or require any support on managing childcare arrangements during Eid or any other holidays, please get in touch with our friendly Family Law Team below.