Family breakdown is never an easy time, but for children (and their families) with additional learning needs (ALN), how arrangements for them to spend time with their families post-separation are structured might be the difference between those arrangements succeeding or failing the child.

This insight is not written to cover every need a child with special educational needs (SEN) and/or disabilities might have, but rather to try and highlight some practical steps parents and carers can take for children with additional needs to make any transition to a two-home arrangement better.

You know your child better than anyone else. Whilst it isn’t uncommon for one parent/carer to take the lead in making arrangements and liaise with professionals, that doesn’t mean the other parent/carer cannot or should not do so, too.

As any parent/carer will probably admit (even if only quietly to themselves): children don’t come with a manual and it is a learn-on-the-job experience every single day.

As hard as it may be, sharing information will usually be the key to the happiest and safest arrangements for your child. If consistent sharing of information doesn’t happen, something is more likely to get missed or to go wrong. It could be seemingly quite a harmless oversight or significantly more harmful, such as one parent/carer not being aware of an allergy, or worse.

Communication, not only between the people caring for the child at their home(s), but also with teachers, medical staff and support staff, is critical for that child’s welfare and well-being.

For children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), processing their emotions during and after this type of turbulent period will likely be faced with significant difficulty. It is therefore key to try and secure them the right emotional and mental health support early; whether via your GP and services such as CAHMS, or a school pastoral team, or a wellbeing councillor. There are also many charities and organisations that individuals can talk to for support, such as the NSPCC website. At the very least families facing such significant change and/or difficulties should reach out to their child’s school as soon as possible to explore what support could be put in place.

A stable, consistent home environment and routine are essential for families raising children with additional needs. Often, children with SEN can find the world challenging and rely on familiar structures to navigate daily life. Effective co-parenting and communication are therefore vital in reducing the impact of any potential trauma of the enormous change faced.

Thereafter, the need for effective co-parenting continues through the child’s education. For schools, working together is key to safeguarding a child’s welfare and schools must act according to legislation and guidance on the topic.

We often see disputes regarding the transmission and communication of information from school to home, and who should receive such details. It is important to note that schools are required to treat all parents equally, unless a court order is in place limiting this in some way; such as the ability to make educational decisions or to attend the school premises. Although in most circumstances, only those with parental responsibility will be able to access information about a child, section 576 of the Education Act 1996 extends the meaning of ‘parent’ for educational purposes to include any person who has parental responsibility or who has care of the child. Therefore, the biological parent of a pupil cannot prevent a new partner of the other parent being added to a school contact list, unless as above, a court order is in place to this effect. Therefore, it is very important to ensure that all disputes are dealt with effectively either through mediation or the court process to limit the impact on the child and their future progression through education.

Unfortunately, communication is often one of the most common areas damaged or lost when an adult relationship breaks down. Trust is the second common one.

So, how do you improve communication and build back trust?

It’s not an easy task and will often require leaps of faith at a time when other issues might be taking up financial and emotional resources.

Within the family law world there are lots of resources and people who can help and support you in this:

• A family or education law specialist professional will be able to advise you about legal options available to resolve the issues at hand, they should also advise you about the range of court and non-court dispute resolution options.
• Family mediation – this is a neutral and safe space for people to talk to one another and try and work out their own options for their family. Children (subject to age and understanding) can also be involved in some of this, so their voices are heard too.
• Family therapists – therapy need not be just about putting the relationship back together, it can be about finding a healthier pattern to the separation.
• A parenting plan – a simple agreement that records what the parents/carers agree each will do for the child in question. A sample one can be found here, but it’s not a “one size fits all” and your lawyer/mediator could assist further.

When a child has additional needs, it’s not just about the day-to-day care, but also the additional medical and educational support they may need.

You can find further information on guidance schools receive below:

Welsh government guidance can be accessed here and English DfE guidance can be accessed here.

Our solicitors at Geldards LLP have a wide range of expertise when it comes to your family and children’s needs. Our specialist lawyers can advise and support you through your next steps. Contact us today for more information.